Wednesday, October 28, 2009

another reason to heart nyc

it has been raining here for about 2 and a half days straight.

while my feet are wet, my hair is a mess, and i got splashed from a puddle by a bus this morning... i can still smile and say AT LEAST IT IS NOT SNOW!!

Friday, October 23, 2009

its alright cause i'm saved by the bell

i like celebrity gossip. i have a good memory for it and find genuine pleasure on staying up to date on the Hollywood News. so naturally in moving to NYC i was hoping that i may have some of my own brushes with fame. now whether those brushes were going to be organically or self-made isn't as important as it happened. i finally... after 2 months in the city... met some celebrities.

part of the bummer of being an Americorps*VISTA is that you have no money. but one of the cool things about being a VISTA with no money is that people know you do not have any money and they forward you a lot of emails about free happenings in the city. so when a national organization decided to organize a "free night of theater" event across the United States, we Bronx-Lebanon Hospital VISAs jumped on board.

while i was reviewing the list of free tickets i found a play entitled "The Understudy" staring Mark-Paul Gosselaar. Mark-Paul was from the 90's teen favorite, tv show "Saved By the Bell." I had grown up watching "Saved By the Bell" in reruns and have undoubtedly seen every episode 4 or 5 times. Mark-Paul (aka Zack Morris) on stage sounded like a sure bet.

on Wednesday night all 10 of us VISTAs headed downtown to the theater district to see our free play with Zack Morris. we got to the theater early and were sitting outside enjoying the unusually warm weather for October. i was chatting with my friend sarah when all of a sudden my other friend julie grabbed my arm and hissed into my ear..

"oh my gosh, oh my gosh that is Keanu Reeves. look over there."

so i looked over at a man standing by a garbage can shelling peanuts. through his indian jones style hat, long hair, and scruffy beard it was in fact Keanu Reeves.

me: "go get his autograph"
julie: "oh my gosh i can't. i can't talk to him."
me: "don't by silly. just go up to him. he looks nice."
julie: "no. i just can't. tess you go ask if it is really Keanu and get the autograph."

tess was also sitting next to julie and agreed. she went up to him with pen and paper in hand and asked him if he was in fact keanu reeves. keanu said yes and was very friendly. he signed the paper and asked if we were going to the play. he said he was too and then strolled into the theater. instantly our little group had all their phones out texting and tweeting, letting everyone know we had just seen Keanu Reeves.

i'm not going to lie though, he didn't really do it for me. i didn't get excited to see him. it was almost a let down to all those years of cramming celebrity gossip into my head. i should have been thrilled, but instead he did not bring out my inner fan.

we went into the theater, got our seats, and settled into the show. after a couple of opening lines from the narrator, it happened. Zack Morris entered from the back of the theater and walked down an aisle to the stage. my body did an involuntary jerk, i had to cover my mouth so not to scream, and i felt the inner fan in me take over my senses. oh my gosh. it was zack morris! the zack morris! he did it! he brought out my inner fan! my crazy, neurotic, shameless fan.

after the production we staked out the stage door and laid siege for Zack Morris to come out. I had my program and pen ready for an autograph. at one point while waiting i began to get nervous and began to question whether i'd be able to speak when my time came, but when he appeared through the doors there was no time to hesitate; now or never. we rushed him, bombarded him with pictures, questions, and autographs. he was extremely kind, asked us questions in return, and posed for pictures. then like a dream, he was gone into the new york night. my moment with zack was over.

while i ate my granola this morning, i flipped on the TV to a "Saved By the Bell" rerun. I couldn't help, but smile a bit. zack morris had moved something in me that keanu just could not and he will always keep a piece of my heart with him.

p.s. i heart nyc.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

just a note

p.s.

please notice my new post below the "morning commute" post...

it has a really beautiful passage from a book in it and i think it is definitely worth reading.

just wanna note that because the website for some reason listed the blogs out of order.

thank you. hope you enjoy.

p.s.s.

miss everyone at home!! had my first celebrity sightings last night... if you haven't heard yet. will try to write about them IN DETAIL tomorrow. omg. u r going to be so jealous. all i have to say is... Zack Morris. oh yes. zack morris.

muah.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

morning commute

i ride the train (aka subway) a lot. I am on it for between 2 to 3 hours a day with my commute between Brooklyn and the Bronx. plus any additional joy riding that i squeeze in my days. the train is an interesting place and brings with it extremely interesting people. because there is such a range of riders there are some people who you may notice have some mental health issues and are just trying to make it through their day like anyone else. then there are people who are just plan mean, ignorant, and cruel; like my fellow rider this morning.

i ride 2 trains for my commute. i take the L train for about 10 minutes to get out of brooklyn and into Manhattan. in Manhattan i then switch to the 4 train and ride it uptown for about an hour to get to the bronx. this morning i switched onto the 4 train and and it was my lucky morning i was able to find a spot to sit. i sat down next to a man that only judging by his appearance seemed to be of middle eastern descent. across the isle from us was another man who had a rough look about him, in his 20s, wearing a baggy red sweatsuit. red was leaning across the isle towards the man next to me and saying the follow statements...

"i am going to fucking kills you, i am going to fucking find you and your towel head friends and slice them all, fuck you for coming to our country and fucking with us, i know where you live, i know when your kids brush their teeth, i am going to find them while they are brushing their teeth and fucking kill them..."

he continued basically repeating the same statements over and over. when i sat down i had my ipod on and between songs i caught what he was saying and quickly took my ear buds out so that i could hear better. once i realized he was clearly threatening the man i looked around in horror to see what my fellow riders were doing about it... nothing. no one was doing a thing. people were reading books and newspapers, staring at the wall, listening to their ipods, playing with their cell phones, but not one person was appearing to notice or step in on what this man was saying. even the man being threatened was playing with his iphone and not once looking up at his attacker.

so what do i do? i said something.

being short tempered and stunned that no one was stopping this harassment i decided to ask the gentleman who he was talking to.

"none of your fucking business. i am talking to my fucking self."
"ok. well i would prefer not to hear threatening statements on my morning commute, can you stop?"
"fuck you. who the fuck do you think you are? i know where you live. i am going to fucking come and kill you..." and on and on he went.

so i basically took the attention off the gentleman next to me and let it all come down on me. from 14th street until 149th street (when red got off the train). not one single person on a full train said anything to him as he continued to threaten and harass me the whole ride.

i exchanged a few more statements with him and then decided to stop. nothing i was going to say was going to change his mind on how he felt and no one on that train was going to back me up. at 149th street he stood up, got directly in face, made a gun gesture, and said he was going to find me.

not going to lie. the little wisconsin girl in me came out and i was scared.

as i continued to ride on until my stop i thought about how sad the whole situation was. why hadn't anyone stopped him? why hadn't anyone else stepped in? has our culture/generation/society truly become so individualistic or jaded that an instance like that doesn't call for attention?

i told the story to a coworker when i got to work. he told me that i needed to be careful and that people in the city don't mess around. he is right to a point, but i still think i did the right thing this morning. i can't sit by and let someone spread their hate like that. i believe that in not doing something you are truly as guilty as the individual committing the act. the idea that so many people live by the thought "you against the world" doesn't have to be so. speaking out creates community and communities make differences. make differences.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

YOGA TO THE PEOPLE

last year while living in st paul i joined a gym. it was a great routine to get into of going to the gym everyday after work. i tried a lot of new types of exercising that i might not of done on my own: hip hop dancing, pilates, kick boxing, step aerobics, and yoga.


i had dabbled in a bit of yoga in college, but had never became a committed yogi. so when my friend jada and i started regularly going to a yoga class i was excited. i was on the path to becoming a yogi! as the summer months approached though i began training for the 1/2 marathon, poodle and i moved to minneapolis, worked on the house constantly, and my yoga practice went out the window.


when i moved to nyc i hoped to regain my yoga momentum that i had started in minnesota. lack of funding was going to be an issue though, until a fellow VISTA told me about a yoga study called YOGA TO THE PEOPLE (http://www.yogatothepeople.com/new-york-yoga.shtml). A fantastic studio thats classes are donation based! that means i can go take a yoga class for $1!

sounds amazing right? it is. but with such a deal there is a catch... space. because it is donation based they try to cram as many people into the studio as possible. that makes sense when trying to turn a profit. we are literally 1 inch away from our neighbors on all four sides. it takes some getting use to and also some expert maneuvering between stretched out legs, arms, feet, and hands.

while my friend and i were laughing about the close proximity of a class the other day she made a really good point. the name of the studio is YOGA TO THE PEOPLE and with that name brings a sense of community and collective practice. i really liked how she put that and it makes me feel a little more connected to my fellow new yorker on the mat over. the idea of doing something so personal and spiritual next to a complete stranger is moving and reflective of the idea of community that i wrote about yesterday.

at the end of every class during our finial pose the instructor typically reads a quote or proverb or short passage. the other night she read an amazing passage from all places the children's book, The Velveteen Rabbit. As dorky as this sounds i invite you to reflect on this meaning and how beautiful it is...

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

kindness is so much sexier.

i would like to take the time this morning to let all the men of new york city in on a couple secrets...

Secret #1: Saying "Hey there mommy" is not something that really makes me wanna get with you. I am not you mother and even if I was your mother ... ew.

Secret #2: Making kissing noises at me as i walk by also does not turn me on. stop.

Secret #3 (this secret is universal and can be applied to anyone who tries to make comments at someone else walking down the street, not just the individuals of nyc): if the person you are yelling at ignores your sexual harassment and continues along their way, that then does not give you the right to change from sexual harassment to screaming degrading and threatening statements at them. i know it is probably hard for you to understand this, but it is not a compliment to get harassed while trying to go about your day and in the wrong instance those situations can actually be experienced as scary to the victim.

try just smiling and saying hello as i walk by. enjoy the view and know that kindness is so much sexier than harassment.

Friday, October 9, 2009

gotta get this off my chest

october is Domestic Violence Awareness month. It is a time to share education, advocacy, and reflection on the issue of violence.

while start strong bronx is a prevention program for teen dating violence, we have still been involved with some of the month's awareness raising activities. one thing in particular has been a theater production that start strong bronx collaborated with the bronx pregones theater (http://www.pregones.org/about.html) on entitled: "texting for life."

"texting for life" is an original play written specifically for the start strong bronx and pregone theater partnership. the play highlights the danger of dating violence through means of technology; abuse through instant messaging, cell phones, text messaging, picture sharing, emails, etc. these examples are becoming increasingly more common in unhealthy teenage relationships. and just as with "traditional" methods of abuse, abuse through technology allows for power, control, and manipulation by an abuser over their partner.

the play is interactive. you watch a 15 minute scene between two teenage actors whose relationship escalates to the verge of violence. at that point the play pauses and a facilitator asks the audience questions, discusses the dynamics of dating violence, what would you do in this situation, community resources, etc. the play has been designed for students and is going to be run through the month of november with daily groups of students from neighboring schools coming to watch.

i think this play is a fabulous idea and i truly enjoyed the opening night. but.

but.

i believe that when discussing issues such as violence in intimate partner relationships or violence involving children it is so important to always, always remember that..

VIOLENCE IS A CHOICE!! DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A CHOICE!! DATING VIOLENCE IS A CHOICE!! SEXUAL VIOLENCE IS A CHOICE!!

during the discussion section of the opening night performance people were theorizing about why the abuser was acting the way he was: he was insecure, he was using drugs, he had a poor relationship with his parents, his parents abused him, he has a bad temper, etc. and while it worth noting that some people who abuse may come from challenging backgrounds... THE ACT OF HURTING SOMEONE ELSE IS A CHOICE. PEOPLE WHO ABUSE CHOOSE TO ABUSE.

i am sick of hearing excuses for why people hurt others. it is frustrating. our culture as a whole needs to start holding perpetrators more accountable for their actions.

whew. just gotta get that off my chest.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Requested Topic

i have had a requested topic for a blog: poodle.

it has been asked that i share how exactly i came up with such an endearing, masculine, and loving nick name for my partner, Jesse. well i really cannot take all the credit. in fact, the nick name "poodle" can probably originate back to my parents.

my parents have had pets my whole life. when i was born they had a little schnauzer named Asta. when Asta died my parents decided to get another dog...a poodle... named Jessie. so when i started dating a Jesse it only seemed natural to find a way to be able to tell my childhood dog and my current partner apart.

i called Jessie, Jessie and I called Jesse, poodle.

at first it was only something that we shared privately, between the two of us. at times he would complain that it was an embarrassing nickname, but for the most part he tolerated it and with time he even began to respond to the name...

"hey poodle, what time did you say you'd get off work?"
"i should be done around 5."

there have been some hurdles and stabs at his "manhood" from the name. when his brother learned of the renaming he decided to brand Jesse's snowmobile with the large letters of POODLE so that Jesse's headlight would illuminate the name in the snow, but by year 3 Jesse wasn't even blinking an eye at his new identity.

so that is the story. that is how i started dating a poodle.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Sky Gazing

skylights are a bit of an architectural luxury.

i can't even say there are many homes i have been in that have had one.
i have most definitely never lived in a home on my own that had a skylight...until now.

i do not believe i have ever truly described the joy that is my bedroom here in nyc.

when i was arranging to move to ny i was unable to visit the city to check out any apartments ahead of time. that work was left to my two roommates. when they found the apt we have now and were telling me it had 3 bedrooms, i was thrilled. i need my space.

later, amanda mentioned that one of the rooms was smaller. i asked if there was a window. she said yes. so i volunteered to have the smaller room since they had done all the leg work to find the space. how small could it be?

well. it is small. the long way is about my body length plus maybe another 1/4th of me. the width way is a little smaller than the length of a traditional yoga mat's.

yup, it is small. to make it even smaller, it has extremely high ceilings and high windows.
at times it can appear very prison like.

so the other night while i was laying on my floor level mattress, gazing up at my high window i realized i was looking out at a beautiful, clear, night sky.
i could see bright stars, a puff of clouds, and blinking lights of planes going in to land at LaGuardia Airport. then just tonight i was again laying in bed and a bright light shown in my room. when i looked up at the window i saw it was the light from an almost perfectly round moon shining down. gorgeous.

so while i may have an insanely small room, i do have something that most others don't... my new york version of an apartment skylight.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

QUICK NOTES

a quick note-- my computer is coming home from its vacation in Kentucky this week!
i am hoping to be able to update my blog more often starting next week.
please hang in there and check back. i promise my witty, clever, intelligent stories will continue to come as soon as i have a reliable writing source.

p.s. thank you for all the nice comments, suggestions, and thoughts i've been able to get from so many people!! not going to lie... feels kinda good. :)

p.s.s. i wanted to send out an early Congratulations!! to the future Mr. and Miss. Johnson who will be getting married this weekend! I am thrilled to see you tie the knot Matt and Annie. I wish you nothing but eternal happiness! Muah!

Monday, September 21, 2009

there goes another one

on saturday i was out walking with a friend.

we passed by a gentleman sitting on a bench.

"hey girls... hey girls..."

we paused a bit.

"you look like angels and my name is Charlie. Wanna be Charlie's angels?"

; )

Thursday, September 17, 2009

should have listened

if you know me well you know i can be a bit stubborn.

sometimes i do things just because they are different from the norm (poodle can probably relate to that). this was especially true when i was younger. when i was in 4th grade i wore mismatched socks for over a year so that i could be different from my peers. mind you, this wasn't just mismatching my socks under my jeans either--oh no-- this was the early 90s. these were the days of sturup pants and scrunch socks over the sturup pants so that the world could see my protest of social norms.

this continued through out my childhood and still does into my young adulthood. but now i am finding that some of the choices that i made in clear defiance of my parents, peers, and the world in the pare are now coming back to bit me in the ass.

case in point-- French vs. Spanish.

it is well known that in the United States Spanish is one of the most rapidly growing languages spoken in communities. as in many fields, it is becoming increasingly more valuable in the social service job market to be able to speak fluent Spanish. especially in large cities (i.e. NYC) where there are whole neighborhoods where no one speaks English (i.e. the neighborhood i live in here in Brooklyn). at my VISTA site in the Bronx i have assisted with 2 different health fairs in the last couple weeks. at those health fairs i would estimate that 70% of the communities members i have had come to my resource table spoke almost exclusively Spanish.

bummer i don't speak Spanish.
why don't i speak Spanish? my school system started offering classes in the language beginning in 6th grade through my graduation, and i was required to take at least 3 years of a foreign language. again i ask, so why don't i speak Spanish?

i had to be different. i had to do something that all the other kids weren't doing and of course i had to do the exact opposite of what my parents wanted me to do. i wanted to take French. i can still remember the argument i had with my parents when it came time to pick a foreign language. i clearly remember my mom telling me that French would not be beneficial when i was older and Spanish would help me in the long run. my dad urged me to reconsider and think about job opportunities.

no thank you to their advice. i wanted French.

so here i sit: unable to speak with half the people in my site community, barley able to mumble any French (laura can vouche for that), and thinking to myself i should have listened.

editor's note: our brave heroine is currently looking into cheap, entry level Spanish speaking classes in the city. wish her luck!

beware of the bite

i really love dogs.

i always grew up with dogs and i am truly looking forward to the day when i live in a stable enough environment to have my own.

until then, i will be forced to google all the 100's of dogs i see walking the streets of new york every day (that has been another awesome thing about new york...all the dogs!)!

but i found out earlier this week that even the simple act of smiling at a cute dog can bring comments from men; as i mentioned in a previous blog the comments from males to females in this city is constant.

while walking in the bronx with a coworker, a dog and his owner were walking towards us. it was a puppy with big, goofy paws and ears that'll take months for him to fully grow into.
i proceeded to do my normal routine i do almost every time i see an adorable pup, i started smiling and cooing how cute he was to my coworker. the dog's owner must have been able to read my facial expression because as we passed by the pair he leaned into me and said..

"if you wanna pet the dog you can pet the owner too."

seriously?

Sunday, September 13, 2009

skype?...what's all the hype?

i have to apologize for not being able to write as often as i would like.
my computer suffered from a little "new city anxiety" and decided to stop turning on 2 weeks ago.
my roommate has been kind enough to let me use her computer while my computer is going through intensive therapy at Best Buy's Geek Squad.
i am hoping to get it back within the next week.

a new computer activity i tired this week though was skype.
if you have never skyped before it is using your computer to call another computer. then you are able to talk to the other person through your computer. if you have webcams you can even see each other on the screen.

my roommate amanda had been skyping with her sister and suggested i try it with poodle. i proposed the idea to poodle and he bought a webcam. we were both super excited at the idea of seeing eachother and talking. just like if we were at home in Crystal.

so friday was the big night we decided to skype for the first time. while amanda was setting up an account i started getting really nervous to see poodle; my palms began to sweat and my stomach was flipping all over.
right when we are about to make our connection i looked down and realized....
I WAS WEARING THE SAME TSHIRT THAT I HAD LEFT MPLS WEARING 3 WEEKS AGO!!!
poodle couldn't see me wearing the same shirt! this was going to be our first connection on skype and i had to make a good impression! so i ran into my room and had to find something else to wear! i decided on a red tank top.

it was time. amanda called poodle's computer and then he was on the computer screen. i couldn't help, but squeal a bit. we said awkward hellos, both smiling from ear to ear. i brought poodle on a tour of my apartment and then i took the computer into my room so we could chat privately. after we had settled in (and poodle went through 20 different camera angels to find the one he liked best) we sat and stared. there was nothing much else to say past our normal nightly conversations.

skyping was cool don't get me wrong, but i found that it didn't give me what i was looking for.
with the evolution of technology, personal touches disappear from communication. poodle and i can talk through out the day whenever we like--text messages, emails, cell phone calls--which is comforting to know, but also lacking the classic tones of romance.

my late grandpa was a very gifted artist. while he was courting my grandma he would send her postcards with beautiful pictures on them illustrating his love. my dad has a series of those postcards framed in his office and when i think of those i can't help but say...skype, what's all the hype?

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

stumbling star

something that seems like a generally accepted act in NYC is men/boys "cat calling" women/girls. it is everywhere and comes in many different forms; yelling out cars, comments as you walk by, singing to you on the subway, whistling, honking, etc.
it seems as if the males of NYC have managed to think of every way possible to "compliment" passing females.

in my opinion these acts are sexual harassment. for the sake of a more light hearted blog though, i am not going to go into my opinion fully at this time. :)


Monday morning i decided i had gotten to know my neighborhood well enough that i was going to go for a run. for those of you that do not know--i trained all summer for my first half marathon in august. after successfully finishing the half marathon... i haven't run more than a handful of times since. so i went for a run.

while crossing a street i stumbled on some uneven pavement. i didn't fall to the ground, but i did trip enough to have to regain my footing in mid-stride. across the street a couple of older men were sitting on a step.

when i tripped, one of them yelled out, "Woah! watch yourself hunny."
i smiled and waved at them.
the other gentleman sitting on the step yelled out next and said, "hey it's ok hunny. you can be my falling star."

i couldn't help but laugh out loud.

poverty = time spent in lines

this blog is a recap of my day's experience.
i had the day off and decided i'd make the most of it and go apply for EBT (food stamps).
this will be a rewrite of the notes i took through out the day.

8:15am -- hooray! finally a day for food stamps! i have all my paperwork and have directions to the building. it doesn't look bad. i think a few blocks away. honestly though i do have some mixed opinions about applying for public assistance. i am technically living in poverty (i will be making roughly 13,000 this year with my Ameri Corps service) and part of the program is to "experience" poverty and be able to "relate" to the community i'll be working in. with about 1000 a month and my rent 700 a month plus bills... a little help would be nice. ok. wish me luck.

9:00 am -- hmmm. so i thought i'd get there right at 8:30 when the building opened. no luck. the directions were deceiving and i don't know this neighborhood that well. i went way out of my way and when i finally stopped to ask for directions, I couldn't find anyone who spoke english. but i have found the building now. i was greeted at the front door by a security guard who motioned to the end of a line without asking me what i needed. so now i am in the back of a line--with 40 other people ahead of me.

9:42 am -- i just got through the first line. the man behind the reception counter handed me a packet of papers and a piece of green paper. he told me to go to the 4th floor. when i got off the elevator another security guard motioned to an already filled to the brim waiting room. Children are crying, people are dozing in chairs, or staring at CNN blaring from a TV on the far wall. There are 5 workers behind glass yelling out numbers and helping the next person. i've settled in and am now going to fill out my 10 page application.

10:10 am -- application filled out, but i think i did some wrong. i need to listen for my number. i am FA35. they just yelled for FA14.

10:42 am -- FA18

10:57 am -- i've just bonded with an older, latino man sitting next to me. we both feel like we have been here forever and the waiting room is so loud. i wish i would of ate something for breakfast and not just drank that cup of coffee.

11:12 am -- my new friend just got called into the magical doors they bring you in when your number is called. he was FA24. 11 more numbers to go for me!

11:52 am --a little 4 year old girl sitting next to me is coughing so hard she just threw up on herself. her mom is talking on the phone and doesn't notice. i feel like i should say something. it is so loud in here. there are so many people. i can't believe i'm still waiting. i've been here for almost 3 hours.

11:55 am -- i'm in.

12:18 pm -- ok. i met with my caseworker, Miss. Halloway. she was kind, but very business. she looked tired. she tells me that i need to get a receipt to verify my SSN (because I do not have the original card)--she gives me instructions on where to go for that. she says i need to go do that today and bring it back to her. i want to cry thinking about going back in a line. i get my finger print and picture taken.

12:38 pm -- i found the Social Security Administration building. i got a number and am standing in another line. my feet hurt. i am in another room full of people. i am the only white person i have seen today. this "experience" is unreal.

12:49 pm -- i got my receipt. the woman worked quick and didn't make any small talk. i am about to start walking back to the first building i was at. i am hot, exhausted, so hungry, and getting crabby.

1:10 pm -- i am back at the first building. i need to give my receipt to Miss. Halloway so i called her direct dial. She said she would come down and grab it (thank you so much!!)!! I think i'll get my card now! thank goodness! i want to go home and eat lunch!!!!!!!!

1:13 pm -- Miss. Halloway just gave my another sheet of paper with another address on it. I have to go to to this place in downtown Brooklyn to get the card. seriously? seriously? now i am getting angry! i want to go home.

2:30 pm -- i'm standing outside another government building in downtown brooklyn. it took me 45 minutes on the subway to get here and guess what.. THE LINE IS SO LONG IT IS OUT THE BUILDING AND AROUND THE BLOCK! i'm here, might as well get in line.

3:28 pm -- ok. i have checked in finally!! now i have to wait again for my name to be called to get my card. this waiting room is the smallest i have been in yet and there are people crawling everywhere. a mother just told her toddler son next to me to "shut the fuck up before i smack you upside the head." i am so tired and i want to say something, but what do i say? this whole day has been overwhelming. we talk about poverty in the classroom, at VISTA, in Social Work workshops--but until you go through this experience you can not know. i still do not know and here i have been all day. i want to go home.

4:00 pm -- done. card in hand. pin punched in. i am going home. i want a nap.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Poodles are Fantastic

my mom asked me tonight how poodle and i are doing?

it has been almost a week and a half since we had our tearful goodbye at MSP International Airport (and it wasn't just me crying! anyone who knows poodle, knows that i was not the only one crying!). whew--it was hard, bordering on physically painful.

background on poodle and i.

we have been dating for about 3 and a half years. we are both from the same town, same high school, etc.

3 and a half years ago poodle was living in milwaukee and i was living in madison. over mother's day weekend we both went home to visit our mothers. on top of the holiday it was also my 21st birthday weekend. while i was out exploring the local bars i ran into poodle, we exchanged numbers, and started talking. after we had both gone back to our respective cities we talked on the phone for almost 3 weeks before i jumped on the badger bus to milwaukee. it has been magic ever since.

we have done distance in the past--2 years of commuting between milwaukee and madison--and then we spent the last year and a half living together in the twin cities. we have shared a phenomenal relationship. what i am learning now in this new situation is that poodle is a friend. he is not only my partner, but my best friend.

so i want to say again--thank you for trusting our relationship my sweet poodle. i love you.

Where I Am Coming From

as i mentioned on monday, this week i went through Pre Service Orientation for my VISTA year. we covered various topics such as: the mission and history of VISTA; poverty concepts, insights, and strategies; capacity building; volunteer development; civil rights and responsibilities; and finished up with an official swearing in ceremony and oath of service.

so it is official. i am a vista. i rose my right hand, repeated after the trainer, and signed a piece of paper. let the fun begin.

with covering so many topics during training we also did a zillion different exercises exploring those topics--it was all part of expanding our minds. many of the issues and conversations were ones that i had already gone through as part of my social work education, but something about this training stood out to me with the levels of honesty and range of conversations being had.

i wanted to share with you one exercise we completed on values. we discussed core values that we hold in our lives, how we express those values in our daily actions, and how those values may be misinterpurreted by others looking in... an exercise on cultural competence.

3 Core Values i hold in my life for who i am...
  1. PASSION for whatever i am pursing

  2. being TRUE to who i am and my goals

  3. constantly PUSHING myself to be the best i can

How I Express these values in my life...

  1. working in the field of ending Domestic and Sexual Violence --strong passions for me!

  2. moving to nyc to take this vista position--even though i have an amazing partner in MN, a supportive family in WI, and wonderful friends in both states!

  3. instead of staying in MN and at my previous job, i decided to move to NY and try a new position with public health.

the finial part of the exercise was then identifying how my actions could possibly be interputed in other ways than my intended values. Examples of this include how many people i encounter sometimes view my passion as being "emotional" or they may see my leaving my amazing partner as me not truly caring about him or our relationship.

the take away point from this exercise is fairly obvious, but i still feel powerful.

someone's actions may be viewed multiple ways by different people. we can all be so quick to judge before we truly know where someone is coming from. i am learning that the world is full of so many different people and i will never be able to completely understand other's lives.

as a social worker and advocate i need to remember that instead of running out and saving the world, sometimes the best thing is to just sit down and listen.

Monday, August 31, 2009

They Had Me At Hello

today on my lunch break i decided to go for a walk around the block.
i am attending my Pre Service Orientation (PSO) for VISTA this week in the lower east side of Manhattan and while the trainer is excellent... trainings are long. so i thought stretching my legs and getting some fresh air would put me back on my "a" game for the afternoon session.

while strolling down my first block i noticed a big sign on the sidewalk that read "SAMPLE SALE---70,80,90% off top labels." For those of you who know me you know I really do not have much style--let alone actually follow designers-- but i thought i'd check it out. i am in nyc.

the sale was taking place in an empty building that they had erected make-shift tables and shelving through out a giant front room. right when you entered the door you were confronted by two men with thick, black mustaches and puffs of chest hair peaking through their tight tshirts.

as an individual raised in the Midwest, i am still getting adjusted to people not smiling or nodding when you pass by, and because i was so distracted by the men's amazingly thick mustaches, i forgot my new vow to fit in and cheerfully said hello.

that was the end of it; they knew they had a tourist

(yes. i am considered a tourist. i have been told by multiple life long residents of NYC that until you have lived here at least 5 years--you are a tourist).

before i knew it everything i was looking at they were there telling me how pretty it was, how pretty i was, how pretty it and i would be if we were together...bags, shoes, tank tops, dresses etc. normally i am an assertive person and fend off this type of attention easily, but the compliments and the cheap labels and just the atmosphere of the city got the best of me.

i began my walk of shame back to training with a new Kenneth Cole tote under my arm. it wasn't anger or guilt from the price of the bag i was feeling because it really wasn't that expensive, but it was the fact that i felt a bit betrayed. Betrayed by my Midwestern characteristics that had freely handed me over to these new york sales men--with thick mustaches and visible chest hair no less. next time i can only hope that the weight of the bag on my shoulder will remind me to NOT SAY HELLO! :)

Sunday, August 30, 2009

strategy

being new to a city can be tricky.
it is hard to move across the country, learn new routines, and begin a job. it is easy to miss all the old habits and comforts from home.

something i realized very quickly though is that a good strategy to combat the loneliness of all the above is to move in with two other ladies who are in the same situation as me and will have no choice but to be my friend. :)

enter roommates sally and amanda. lots of people have asked me where i came across roommates in a city i had never been to. craigslist was a little too scary for my taste, so i went for the next best thing in a 20-somethings life... facebook!

facebook has an application entitled the "market place." People can buy and sell nearly anything on this site--including themselves. so i decided to advertise myself as someone in need of roommates. i found a cute picture of myself, wrote a clever description, and waited. within hours i had many replies, but the first one to catch my eye was miss. amanda from down south.

amanda too had decided to join the americorps and was going to be working in the mayor's office. she is loud, articulate, kind, and full of positive energy. she did much of the leg work in looking for places to live and found us our fabulous (sometimes interesting) apt. amanda even volunteered to leave work early and pick me up at the airport the night i moved to nyc.

after a couple more days of sifting offers to join our team, i got an email from a young woman named sally. sally is a fashionista. she has survived fashion internships that would make you laugh, cry, and shudder. sally is quiet, sweet, generous, and creative. her heroic tales of the subway provide us with nightly humor.

new city, new friends, new adventures. not a bad start.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

so what are you doing again?

one last note for the night and then i will be done. i just need to brag though about what an awesome program i get to work for.

my americorps position is for the community education department of Bronx-Lebanon Hospital in the bronx. i have been assigned to their Start Strong program.

Start Strong is a national initiative that has been funded by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation in 11 different cities across the US (bronx included). The goal of the program is to increase awareness and eduction among 11-14 y.o. tweens about dating violence and healthy relationships. There is also an emphasis on working with community members and parents who are involved with student's daily lives (go to http://www.startstrongteens.org/ for more information).

Each site has to full fill certain requirements--have a teen advisory board, run a Domestic Violence Awareness Month event in october, work with community partners, etc--but largely each site is allowed to pursue their own creative avenues for their community.

For the upcoming year Start Strong Bronx has a handful of exciting projects being launched.

  • We have developed a strong partnership with clergy in the bronx and in the month of October each congregation will have a service dedicated completely to healthy families and relationships.
  • Start Strong's Teen Advisory Board is doing a performance inspired by personal stories of dating violence in the month of October.
  • 5 middle schools in the community have agreed to have Strong Strong come in to do a 21 week curriculum about healthy relationships for their 7th and 8th grade students.

I get to have 2 projects to focus on for the first half of the year:

  • Conducting a needs assessment and then implementing necessary programing to a local Boys and Girls Club on the issue of teen dating violence.
  • Building collaboration tools and network an already existing teen dating violence program in the bronx community--RAPP (relationship, abuse, prevention program).

Once social change begins, it cannot be reversed. You cannot uneducate the person who has learned to read. You cannot humiliate the person who feels pride. You cannot oppress the people who are not afraid anymore. We have seen the future, and the future is ours." -Cesar Chavez

First Week of Work...

ok. i have completed my first "week" (it was only 2 days) of work!!
i got into the city on tuesday night and was to start at the hospital on thursday morning. i thought that wednesday would be a great day to practice going to work. i bought a subway pass; navigated my way through brooklyn, manhatten, and the bronx; and got myself all the way to the hospital's front doors in one piece (it only took an hour and 15 minutes)!
so wednesday i laid down to go to sleep--all excited for my first day on thursday-- and as i started to close my eyes.. i kept them closed and kept them closed and kept them closed a bit longer but nothing. no sleep. i laid awake most of the night tossing and turning in true neurotic/anxious maria fashion.
the alarm did finally go off at 6:30, but i guess to my subconscious it wasn't important for me to get up, so i shut the alarm off and kept sleeping. at 7:07 i sat up in bed, looked at the clock, and screamed. I had to leave at 7:30.
while running to the subway i wasn't too frazzled because i was so happy that i was able to grab a cup of coffee to go. i went for that first sip and noticed the arm of my shirt was wet. I smelled it. My coffee had leaked on the arm of my cardigan. No biggie right? Just take it off. While standing on the subway though i looked down and saw that my beautiful white khakis were now designed with brown coffee spills down both legs.
Just take them off? :)

Day 4

Day 4.

So far life in the city is good. There is so much. I can not even begin to describe the people, the buildings, the communities... I feel so lucky to be here and expand how I see the world.

Definitely though there are frustrations. My apartment is probably the #1 pain. Our landlord is a dork. The big "renovations" our building has been going through has left us without power, water, or gas at random times. Every room in the apt has an Internet jack in it, but when the Internet man came to hook us up... he found that behind the jacks was nothing. It was just a face plate on the wall to make it look like there was a jack there. The cupboards in the kitchen have been installed every way, but the right way and are lacking handles so you can't open them without scrapping your nails down the front.

Most of the time we just laugh.