gotta get this off my chest

october is Domestic Violence Awareness month. It is a time to share education, advocacy, and reflection on the issue of violence.

while start strong bronx is a prevention program for teen dating violence, we have still been involved with some of the month's awareness raising activities. one thing in particular has been a theater production that start strong bronx collaborated with the bronx pregones theater (http://www.pregones.org/about.html) on entitled: "texting for life."

"texting for life" is an original play written specifically for the start strong bronx and pregone theater partnership. the play highlights the danger of dating violence through means of technology; abuse through instant messaging, cell phones, text messaging, picture sharing, emails, etc. these examples are becoming increasingly more common in unhealthy teenage relationships. and just as with "traditional" methods of abuse, abuse through technology allows for power, control, and manipulation by an abuser over their partner.

the play is interactive. you watch a 15 minute scene between two teenage actors whose relationship escalates to the verge of violence. at that point the play pauses and a facilitator asks the audience questions, discusses the dynamics of dating violence, what would you do in this situation, community resources, etc. the play has been designed for students and is going to be run through the month of november with daily groups of students from neighboring schools coming to watch.

i think this play is a fabulous idea and i truly enjoyed the opening night. but.

but.

i believe that when discussing issues such as violence in intimate partner relationships or violence involving children it is so important to always, always remember that..

VIOLENCE IS A CHOICE!! DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A CHOICE!! DATING VIOLENCE IS A CHOICE!! SEXUAL VIOLENCE IS A CHOICE!!

during the discussion section of the opening night performance people were theorizing about why the abuser was acting the way he was: he was insecure, he was using drugs, he had a poor relationship with his parents, his parents abused him, he has a bad temper, etc. and while it worth noting that some people who abuse may come from challenging backgrounds... THE ACT OF HURTING SOMEONE ELSE IS A CHOICE. PEOPLE WHO ABUSE CHOOSE TO ABUSE.

i am sick of hearing excuses for why people hurt others. it is frustrating. our culture as a whole needs to start holding perpetrators more accountable for their actions.

whew. just gotta get that off my chest.